


Drugstore Dilemma

by MoonStarDutchess



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Complete, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonStarDutchess/pseuds/MoonStarDutchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gold takes Belle into the drugstore, never expecting some of the topics that come up. Only Belle can shake the Dark One, and she does it quite well. </p><p>Fifth in the Missing Moments Collection</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pastes, Floofs, Afghan Hounds and . . . Eunuchs?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Claim no ownership to Once Upon a Time.

He'd be the last person to admit when he felt uneasy. Not that he'd have to when around Belle. She had the extraordinary capability of reading the majority of his emotions even when his face was that of a poker player going all out in a game when possessing an insubstantial hand.

Thankfully, she chose to say no more as he opened the door to the pharmacy and let her enter first. She let go of his arm and immediately grabbed his hand in a tight grasp before entering, not loosening her grip for a moment.

When he moved to stand beside her, he noticed the amazement on her face. She had the same wonderment when they entered the clothing store. It was amusing, but not as amusing as her face when she took an odd liking to several pairs of stilettos. Considering the way her legs looked in those shoes, he'd discovered a new love for the footwear as well.

He took a small blue basket from a holder beside the door and walked ahead of her. "Come on, Dear." He guided her through each of the aisles even though there was nothing they needed in them. He wanted her to get a grasp of the surroundings and to sate her curiosity. One aisle made her stop, and he turned to her.

"See something you want?" he asked. He was amused at how she stared at the wall before them like an amazed child.

"No," she said. An obvious lie. "It's just. . . Once, my father and I went to visit a neighboring kingdom. Their specialty was confections. He took me to a candy shop and this part of the shop reminds me of it."

He heard the longing in her voice. It was odd for him to hear about Maurice being a good father. He'd been nervous when he told her about his actions regarding her father and the "cup" incident, but she'd taken it much better than he expected. Her father had turned her out when she'd gone back, but the things Regina said about the clerics hadn't been true. She'd scolded him more for losing his temper and giving into the dark rather than the beating her father part. Though she wasn't exactly joyous over hearing that, she said she might've done the same thing if the positions had been reversed. He doubted that because his Belle was far too kind.

She laughed. "I had a stomach ache for the next few days."

"And was it worth it?" he asked.

She nodded. "It was."

He pulled her closer to the wall of confections. "Pick out something." In additions to various items in this new world, Belle was fascinated by the variety of foods available. Her reaction to pizza was comparable to the way one would act if they discovered the Holy Grail.

She looked up at him. "Show me your favorite."

He thought for a moment. He didn't eat much candy, but there was one in particular he found himself craving once in a while. He lifted his cane and pointed to a package of light brown squares in a plastic see through container. "Peanut butter fudge." She got a container and put it in the basket. He grinned. "Pick something you're curious about and we'll try it."

She bit her bottom lip and looked around on the shelf. He could almost guess which she'd pick since her sights went in that direction. Coffee turron. She'd instantly developed a love for coffee on the level that nearly rivaled her newly beloved ice tea and had been intrigued by the little coffee candies he kept on the counter in the kitchen.

Sure enough, she picked it up and showed it to him. "Have you tried it?"

"Can't say I have, put it in the basket. We'll pick up some more coffee on the way home as well."

She smiled and they continued their journey through the store. He pointed out things as they passed, telling her what they were for, until he stopped at something they needed. He started to speak when she cut him off with an excited voice and said, "Look! Mini hairbrushes! They’re so cute."

He chuckled. "Those are tooth brushes."

She blinked and her face shifted into that vapid look she possessed when confused. "Teeth don't have hair."

He looked at her oddly. Surely they… "They didn't give you a toothbrush in that place?"

"They wouldn't even give me a spoon." She hugged his arm. "That's over now though," she said with confident sternness, a surefire signal to him that he shouldn't dwell on what happened to her. That she too was trying not to dwell.

"Oh, yes it is," he said while pushing back the anger that bubbled forth. If he didn't restrain it and lock it up, he'd find Regina and shove every apple in her tree down her throat until she choked. He took a shuddering breath and nodded toward the wall, indicating she should choose a brush. "Pick one."

Her eyes roved the selection and she finally settled on a gold one with blue and white trimming decorating the edges. His color. Their colors.

"Now you need toothpaste."

"Paste?"

"It's just a thick substance that you put on the brush to help clean your teeth."

"It's sticky?"

"It can be yes, but it foams up and you just spit it out and rinse out your mouth after you're done brushing. It gets rid of plague on your teeth"

She huffed and looked away from him. "My teeth are real, thank you very much."

He stared at her, brows furrowed and his mouth slightly open. The crinkles at his eyes that usually conveyed his amusement were drawn tighter together, indicating incredulousness and confusion. "Wha?" he said, unable to finish the "t" at the end of the word.

"You said it gets rid of the plaque. My teeth are real."

When he finally understood what she meant, he said, "I wasn't implying that your teeth were plaques, Sweetheart. This stuff cleans your teeth of the food pieces after you eat it. Like you do back home with those flat sticks. The particles left behind can cause something called plaque."

"Oh," she said and gave a short giggle.

He grinned at her sheepish smile and picked a box of toothpaste up off the shelf. "Vanilla?"

She nodded and he led her down yet another small aisle. "Wow, so many potions, but the bottles are different than the ones you had in your workroom."

"This is shampoo and conditioner."

"What's it for? Laundry? The shampoo is for shams and the conditioners are for… I don't remember anything in the laundry called a conditioner."

"No," he said trying to hide another laugh. It'd been so long since he had a genuine one. His laughs were almost never out of amusement but rather out of an intense desire to make someone nervous.

She blinked. "Oh, these are potions to find out if your deals are honest or not?"

 "Pardon?"

"If they're a sham or not? If they are then they can just go poo themselves. And the conditioners are for those deals where you need specific conditions."

If his Belle were to find a career for herself in this world he was sure a writer would fit her amazingly well. Some of her thoughts were the most creative things he'd ever heard. He let out the laugh he was holding in, loud at first, then in little chuckles. He ducked his head away from her.

 "Stop laughing. I really don't know what this stuff is. I admit I was being silly with the poo thing, but you can hardly blame me for not knowing these things."

He reached up and stroked a strand of her hair. "Shampoo is for washing your hair. The conditioner keeps it soft and healthy."

She reached up to touch his hair. "Is it what you use on your floof?"

"My . . . floof?"

"That's my name for your hair. It's lovely and floofy. It looked like this pretty, longhaired dog I saw walking down the street the other day. The lady said it was an Afghan hound."

He couldn’t recall ever seeing a dog called that, so he took out his phone and looked up the dog breed. Much to his surprise, the dog did look like him. "Floof," he muttered and shook his head at the name before sticking the phone back into his coat pocket and focusing back on the shelf. "What scent of shampoo do you want?"

She browsed the concoctions before shrugging. "I don't know. You pick one that you like."

He looked over the bottles and kept in mind an important thing he did as he chose the shampoo. When he was sure that she was asleep, he would often bury his face in her hair and relax. It let him know she was there and alive and one-hundred percent his Belle. He chose two red bottles with a picture of a rose on each one.

She smiled. "I knew you'd pick that one."

"I do hope it smells like a flower rather than Gaston. I could smell him for miles when he arrived at the castle. I suppose that happens when one rides a horse for so long without bathing."

She looked up at him. "Gaston came to the castle?"

"Ah, I forgot to tell you about that. But you understand he wasn’t foremost on my mind most of the time."

"Of course, but why in the world would rose shampoo smell like…" Her eyes widened. Oh, Rumple!  Rumple, you didn't!"

"Didn't what, Dear?" He bit the corner of his jaw to keep from grinning.

"That wasn't a lady selling roses at the door to the dark castle, was it?"

"Surely, you'd figure out a lady, especially an old experienced one, would have enough sense not to come to the door of my home."

"You turned Gaston into a rose?"

“I admit it. Yes, I turned him into that rose.”

She lifted her hand to her mouth and gasped. "My god! I cut part of him off!" She reached up and grabbed the collar of his coat, but not in a violent manner. "What part did I cut?"

He remembered that day quite well, and he’d had to withhold a grunt of pain as soon as he heard the snip. "I would say it's a part most men don't want to be without."

She dropped her eyes and looked devastated. "I cut off his legs."

He raised an eyebrow. Ah, his innocent little Belle, knowledgeable but slow at times. "That wasn't what I was referring too."

She tilted her head and he could almost see the cogs in her brain processing her words. She leaped back and yelled, "I turned him into a eunuch!"


	2. Tarpon Catchers, Condoms, and the Gift.

Gold forced himself not to cringe as the small amount of shoppers in the store stared. Instead, he glared at each of them, giving his, "I'll raise your rent” look. He figured the majority of the shoppers were his tenants. When the people immediately went back to their browsing, he knew he was right in his assumption.

He looked down when Belle buried her face against his chest. "I feel just horrible."

His hand moved to her lower back. "There, there, Dear. Look at it this way, at least now he won't get confused on what head to think with."

She stilled for a moment before raising her head and resting her chin on his chest to look up at him. "That's horrible and not funny," she said even though he heard the slightest chuckle slip out with her speech. "Is he alive here in Storybrooke? Is he okay?"

Gold shrugged. "Yes, I would say he is. If you count all the roses in the park as being his offspring, I would say he’s spread his seed quite a bit."

"Rum," she said. "That's not funny either."

He leaned down, resisting the urge to kiss the amusement off her lips. "If it's not funny, then why are you holding back a laugh?"

She blushed and turned away from him. "Are we done?"

"I suppose. Unless you see something else you want."

She looked around and her eyes widened. "Look!" She pointed at an aisle and went toward it, not staying more than a few feet away from him. He followed her. If he were the type to pale, which was something he would not acknowledge that he did even if it happened, he would have.

"She pointed at the box "There are lakes around here?" She looked back at him, eyes twinkling with excitement. "Can we go catch tarpons with those?"

Gold opened his mouth to respond but found his words had been blown away with the thick stream of heat shooting down from the vent above him.

"Those are tampons, Belle." Tampons had existed in their world but they went by a different name, well they had no name, but mostly peasants used them. Belle was a wealthy merchant's daughter so wasn't at liberty to use a device that was stuck up her… He shook his head. He didn't want to think about things like that. "I'll take you fishing but not with those. That's not what they're for."

He'd hoped she'd drop the subject, but he should've known better. Oh no, if his Belle had a question, she'd ask it. It was both endearing and a pain in the ass. "What are they for then?"

"It's not the kind of thing I should talk to you about, Dearie." It's time to call in my favor to Miss Swan when she gets back. "I'll get someone else to tell you when—"

"I want to hear it from you," she said.

For the love of . . . If he didn't love her so much, he'd be scolding her for pushing it. "Your menses," he said quickly and quietly. "They're for your menses."

"Oh," she turned back to look at the boxes and tilted her head. "How do they work?"

"Bloody hell," he muttered. Men didn't talk to women about this in their world, and though it wasn't as taboo now, it certainly wasn't something the male gender was one-hundred percent comfortable discussing in this time either. Thankfully, there was something in this world that was a great asset in situations like this. He removed his Smartphone from his pocket and went to Google. After a quick search, he found a diagram and handed the phone to her. "Read that." At least Regina had the sense to include cell phones and internet in their town.

She stared down at the small screen, her face painted with amazement. He'd shown her the phone before, and she was still enraptured by the device. He'd already checked into buying her one and teaching her how to use it. She gasped. "Inside. So they're like a menses pad for inside the body."

He thought she'd be a bit more disturbed. "That's right."

"So fascinating. How handy and probably a lot more comfortable."

"You mean you don't find it . . .  intrusive?"

She got a mischievous grin on her face and leaned closer. "I've had bigger things there," she whispered.

And . . . he hadn't been prepared quite enough. He braced his cane harder against the floor to keep from falling over. Who would've thought his Belle would say something like that. She looked back down at his phone, read for a while and then grabbed a box of normal sized tampons. "Can I try them?"

"Dearie, it's your body," Gold said, feeling his cheeks heat up over her asking permission to do such a thing.

She put them in the basket. "Okay."

"There's a favor saved at least," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing important."

She turned off his Smartphone and reached in his jacket to put it back into the inner coat pocket. She let her fingers drift across his chest teasingly as her hand left his coat. This world had already corrupted her, but he couldn't say he was sorry if this was the type of corruption.

"We should leave," she said and giggled. "I can tell you're embarrassed."

They started walking toward the checkout counter. "I'm not embarrassed, I'm just surpri—" He jerked to a stop when she stopped.

"So those are condoms? I wasn't expecting them to be in boxes and bought in public."

Gold turned and as his eyes hit what she was looking at, he felt like his body was moving in slow motion. Condoms. How did she know about those and not about tampons? They weren't something a lady knew about either.

"I read about those in some books Ruby lent me. I thought they were fiction but they really exist." She turned to him and blinked. "You used them at the times we. . . "

"Yes."

"Wow, you had me so distracted I didn't notice." She smiled widely. "You have enough to last us?"

Upon hearing glass shatter, he looked in the direction the noise came from and saw Sneezy and a woman he didn't know standing there with their mouths agape and eyes widened. The lady had dropped a large glass jar of vitamins; the small pills rolled along the floor creating a slipping hazard.

"Alright then," she said as if there was no reason to be shy. When he thought about it, there really wasn't. He had a beautiful woman with him and was able to freely make love to her.

They walked over to the register, and Sneezy rushed around the counter to check them out. That dwarf had been the one to cross the barrier, and if it weren't for him, none of them would know about the consequences of leaving town.

Sneezy made no eye contact with either of them as he checked out and bagged the items. After paying for them, Gold took the bag and Belle's hand.

"Have a nice nigh—I mean day!" Sneezy said. "You have a nice…day."

Gold narrowed his eyes at the man but Belle happily said, "Thank you. You too," before they left the drugstore.

 

-/-/-

 

Belle muttered as morning's light hit her eyes. She scooted further under the warm blankets, cringing as she moved her legs into another position. After their adventure the previous day at the pharmacy, she'd made sure Rum put those condoms to use. She felt a blush creep upon her cheeks and let out a giggle. Her behavior was scandalous, but he didn't seem to mind it. If he didn't, then she wouldn’t. Back in their world women weren't supposed to do things like this until they were married, but that didn't matter to her now. This wasn't their old world after all. She'd have to keep reminding herself of that and not hold this world to the same standards. Besides, it wasn't as if she would ever want to marry anyone other than Rumple anyway.

She turned to the right so she could cuddle against her lover only to find he wasn't there. She stood from the bed, letting the covers drop back down to the mattress, and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. After showering and getting dressed, she walked downstairs.

"Rum?" she said, though not loud enough for anyone to hear. When the smell of pancakes and sausage came to her nose, she walked into the kitchen and saw him standing in front of the stove. He wore his standard dark suit, sans jacket, and a dark red shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Over that was a red apron.

She walked behind him and put her arms around his waist, hugging him from behind the way he did her when she was cleaning or at the shop browsing all the trinkets. She rested her head against his back. "I hope I didn't embarrass you too much yesterday."

"Love?"

"At the drugstore place."

Gold shook his head. "Not at all."

"Are you just saying that because of last night?"

He looked over his shoulder and gave her that little crinkle of the face he carried when he was Rumple at the dark castle. He looked back at the stove. "No, but I'm not unhappy about last night."

She tiptoed so she could lean over his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "I'll go get the mail for you and leave you to your cooking." He looked so appealing that she knew if she didn't leave, he wouldn't be going into work today.

"Thank you love."

She patted through the hallway and opened the door, shivering where the morning air hit her. She moved to exit the house and nearly tripped on a box sitting in front of the doorway.

"Oh my," she said and looked back at the kitchen to make sure Rum wasn't coming. She rushed into a kneeling position and grabbed a letter nestled inside the large box filled with condoms and something in a bottle she'd never seen before. There were also fur covered cuff things that looked like shackles and a … feather? They were wrapped with a red bow.

She opened the folded piece of paper. _"Dear, Young Woman,"_ she read to herself. _"Here's a large amount of supplies for you. Mister Gold has been distracted as of late and we think you're the reason. Keep up the good work._

_Sincerely,_

_Citizens of Storybrooke._

She grit her teeth. What was she going to do with all these? Rum would be so angry with the people in town if he spotted this. She hefted the box into her arms, moved to the edge of the porch, and dumped it behind a rosebush.

She grabbed the mail and rushed inside the house. Vowing to clean up the condoms and bottles and feathery items after Rum left for work.

Unfortunately, she found the library that day and had to explain to her love when he got home why there were sexual items decorating his favorite rosebushes.

 


End file.
